When was the last time you truly felt heard, if at all, and when was the last time you listened to someone, I mean really listened to them? I would bet that the answer to both was, hardly at all! But you are not alone, few really listen when someone is speaking, they may look like they are but in practice they’re far from it. People are distracted by their mind’s ramblings, wants and needs. They’re thinking about other things, the chat triggers other thoughts, then you have those who need to interrupt and take over the conversation with their ego’s need to control.
One of the greatest joys is that of truly being seen, heard and acknowledged.
Listening is an art, it’s a skill and one that few people master. We have all learnt to listen in our own way but there are levels of listening that if mastered will dramatically change how we interact in the world, personally, professionally and in business. Relationships improve dramatically as our listening creates a connection with people that’s open, attentive and non-judgmental. We benefit from being an ‘effective listener’ with deeper and stronger relations that have trust, respect and appreciation, enabling clear and effective communication. At its mastery levels, hearing and acknowledging is a profound experience, it opens doors to love and honest expression and that can be transformative.
One of the greatest gifts you can give is to listen to someone, to hear them without judgement. Feeling heard brings a deeper connection with the person that opens a relationship of freedom between them.
The experience of being heard and acknowledged opens us to a freedom of self-expression. It’s an experience that is rare as few people have the skill to truly listen without judgement, agenda, interrupt or a need to make things right. While we are not listening, we are missing what’s really being said, given or asked, the things that are more than the words. We are so busy we have missed what the other person is truly saying!
When we are heard and acknowledged it allows us to speak from a place of our truth, from our heart without the fear of judgement or retribution, its freeing. This freedom enables us to let go of the restrictive thoughts held in our mind, they are spoken out and released. It’s like a healing process and creates a deeper connection with the listener. Its what real relationships are made of! When we feel heard there is a ‘letting go’ of barriers, we feel safer and trust with this person so speak about things that want to be heard, witnessed and acknowledged.
This is not about body language or logical communication; it’s learning how to connect with people beyond the logical mind and that’s also energetic. The more we practice this life skill the better and stronger our relationships will be, and that includes the relationship we have with our self! There becomes a clear channel, a space, moments between two people that enables them to be ‘themselves’. In this space the speaker’s words just flow as if ‘guided’ to share and respond to questions. The experience at its core can be profound and transformational.
I love the old saying about listening, “We’ve been given two ears and one mouth, and we should use them in that order, speak less and listen more!”
So, notice your next conversation, what are you listening to! Are you listening to your mind’s thoughts or what the other person is sharing, really sharing?
Roy teaches people to be themselves in life, to evolve their self-awareness with an understanding of the Life that transcends the minds ego needs. He helps people connect with their passions and talents, to do the things they love and to follow their calling in life!
He runs events, mentorship programmes, and gives talks inspiring people to live the a life doing what they love and are passionate about. One that's filled with meaning, purpose and and by its nature flows with success. He also mentors people and organisations helping create self motivated teams and shows managers how to develop and evolve their leadership.